How we combat Nellie

We post a picture of ourselves that is lovely (if a bit of a lie--it is a picture of me, but rarely do my features achieve harmony like this) and we pat ourselves on the back and sing inspirational hymns. To ourselves, of course, after all not everyone finds Come Sail Away to be the anthem of self-love and emotional highs that we do. We will also use the royal we because it makes us feel as though we are big and strong like China and not cold and pointless like Antarctica. We are NICE to people in a saucy way, because this kind of demeanor is what brings us the most success at work, in derby, in life. For some abject cruelty fuels the fire, for others it's an air of the debonair. For us it is telling people how great they are in a non-gushing way and throwing a wink and a smile like a certain girl we once knew named Aimee. We also try to get some goddamn sleep because four to five hours just ain't cuttin' it especially now that the weather is frosty and we would prefer to stay underneath blankets and dream about being fantastic instead of actually being fantastic. The exhaustion alone is enough to throw a gauzy haze over everything so that Nellie might whisper in our ear about the terrible condition of the world and our even more terrible addition to it. We have to believe her in this state as we cannot see for ourselves that we are kind of great if we only remember to be silly once in awhile. We are starting to sound effete, and so we will end this rambly affirmation