Venom: Sunshine and Roses
I used to hate myself.
A lot.
But no more.
I don't fit into this world very comfortably, and that has always been this huge festering ego-wound. I mean, I don't even fit into counterculture so good (drug-free since 1981, etc.) and I see straight through people (usually), which leaves me friendless (often). But fuck all that, because today I realized that A) I'm pretty awesome and B)I am, in a sense, exactly who and what I want to be. I have no frigging idea what I've been whining and bitching about for so long.
I want to type all of this out right now while I'm feeling it, because I'll probably shrivel into a crumb later. Also I know many folks who follow this blog also struggle with the same grinding self-loathing that I do, and maybe it will give someone a moment's pause to consider me actually liking myself. Maybe, just maybe, that person will reconsider their self-opinion. Because honestly, the only way life is going to be worth living at all is if we stop harping on the fact that we piss, and shit, and that we piss and shit at our shitty jobs, and start living in the good bits, extending their exuberance into enough of our lives to match and tackle the dulling work week.
I'm resolved. Poke fun all you will, I am determined to find satisfaction in this life.
2 Comments:
April, you MUST go with Lucy Van Welt. It is personal, considering your blistered situation, and cool, because Lucy is the best Peanuts charectar ever.
I thought it also makes her sound like an exotic socialite. Not really the librarian persona first mentioned. But maybe you could swing a "socialite from an exotic family that decided to better herself and the world by becoming a librarian"?
In my world, it would fly.
Cheers!
Post a Comment
<< Home