So this is what's happening...

I have what I'm calling a strained muscle. I'm reluctant to say torn, or pulled, or snapped. I've been telling everyone that I hurt it being my usual dumb self, off wheels and being stupid.
That's not exactly the truth.
Coming home from work last night, I ran into a boy I'd never met before, but I could tell we weren't going to be friends because of the stale tobacco flakes resting on his shoulder. He grabbed me by the neck as I walked up to my house and I lost my footing on some ice fell bam! smack! on my left leg.
"Pretty lady," he said. "We got something of yours."
Quick check for phone, keys, wedding band, car, skates... all in place.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I whimpered, trying to produce a tear like a real girl might. He loosened for a second and I jabbed an elbow into his gut, then drove his head into a mound of iced-over snow until blood began to fan into a crimson rorschach on nature's pristine white canvas. As I limped up the stairs, I issued a warning, "You Jando kids need to learn to stay the hell away from me." I dropped my keys. The pain that shot through my thigh when I knelt to pick the up made my mouth fill up with hot saliva.
My assailant began to heave himself up off the ice.
"We've got Henry," he said. We stared at each other for a moment, neither digesting the impact of the statement. But, then reality sunk in, and as my facial muscles tightened to anger from their lax state, the kid picked himself up and took off at a sprint down the street.
I began to lunge for him, but the tear in my leg seized and stopped me cold.
At the top of the hill a large green SUV's interior lit up when someone opened a door from the inside. The kid, began to dive in but paused as the driver mumbled something to him. The kid hit his head on the doorframe as he jumped back out. A billow of steam rose from his lips as he yelled down to me, "Oh, yeah, my dad says come see him tomorrow if you want Henry back. The Jandos want to make you an offer."