Am bitchin'

This morning spin around twenty times, hold your breath for three minutes, and take in twenty sharp, hard gasps. Then have someone you like very much point out ten of your worst characteristics in a song-style reminicent of Audrey Hepburn singing "Moon River" while breaking three eggs on your scalp.
This is pretty much how I've felt every day for the last three weeks.
What the hell is going on?